Gone Fishing 2: How It Really Went Down
by LittleBlueNayru
Summary: The sequel to Gone Fishing. A Random Humorous Oneshot! Yes, Link tries his hand at fishing another time, and the VOICE strikes again!


Disclaimer: I don't own LoZ.

Well, an RHOS-induced plot bunny attacked after watching a video on Youtube, so I wrote this. (Yes, Ganondorf does get distracted in the final boss fight by the fishing hook.) If you liked _Gone Fishing,_ I hope you love this!

_Most of the italics are Link's flashbacks. **The bold italics are the VOICE. You know that thing that says, "you got a yellow rupee! That's ten Rupees!" or, "You caught an Ordon catfish (25 inches)!" or "You got the clawshot!" ? Yeah, that's the VOICE.**_

* * *

Gone Fishing 2: How it Really Went Down

"Can he just hurry up and _die?!_" Link exclaimed furiously, jumping off Epona's back, marching angrily, almost indignantly, towards the king of evil.

The last Gerudo laughed a sickly laugh as he pulled himself to his feet with the stolen Sages' Sword.

"An impressive-looking blade," he hissed softly at Link, gesturing slightly at the Master Sword in faint praise. "But nothing more."

Ganondorf lifted his heavy sword and sheath in both hands, and drew it. "Would you hear my desire?" he asked. "To take this foul blade...and blot out the light forever!"

He took several slow, deliberate steps towards Link, and suddenly, golden Twilit Barriers formed a ring of death around the two fated ones. Over the crash of the thunder in the forming storm, one could barely hear Epona's frightened whinny or Zelda's gasp of surprise. Ganondorf swished his sword into a ready stance, and waited for Link's ready.

Link however, was thinking. About fish.

_**You caught a Bombfish! This fish can be used as a bomb.**_

_"Alright, WHERE IS THAT VOICE?!" an enraged Midna shouted, flying around the room in the Water Temple._

_--_

_"You don't _really_ mean to eat a S_kullfish_, do you? That's so gross, Link!"_

_"Shut up, Midna."_

_"Hmph!"_

_---_

_**You caught a Reekfish! It...reeks.**_

_"Are you going to try to eat this one, too, Link? Eee-hee!"_

_"Shut up, Midna. The voice didn't say _this_ fish was forbidden!_

_"But it's RAW!"_

_"Fine...I'll eat some later..."_

_---_

_"Stupid overpriced fishing hole!"_

_Hey, who did you _think_ was going to ride in the boat with you? It's obvious Hena likes you!"_

_"Shut _up_, Midna!"_

_"She's smart. She gets a ride with her _unofficial boyfriend_ AND a hundred Rupees! You always lose when it comes to fish. First the Bombfish blew up in your face, then the VOICE forbid you from eating Skullfish, _then_ you permanently scarred your sense of taste by trying Reekfish Sushi, and _now_ you lost one hundred Rupees without even catching the Hylian Loach you came for! I think fish hate you, Link. You're fish-challenged."_

_"SHUT UP, MIDNA!!!"_

"Hero, I refuse to wait forever for you to get out of your thoughts. Come at me, or I'll begin!"

Ganondorf's lunge brought Link back to the present. Unconsciously, he had sheathed his sword, and the first weapon he reached for in his frame of mind was the Fishing Rod.

"No! That's not what I wanted!" Link shouted, holding the Rod awkwardly with one hand while fishing through his pockets for another weapon. He was frantically running around in a pathetic attempt to evade Ganondorf, but after half a minute, he realized that Ganondorf had not moved.

The Gerudo King was staring at the hook, transfixed, as single-mindedly as a cat would view a ball of yarn.

Curious, Link swished the rod. Ganondorf's eyes never left the hook.

Link grinned and began waving it wildly. Ganondorf's head started lolling back and forth and around to watch the hook swing.

Trying to control his laughter, Link walked up to Ganondorf, swinging the rod in his right had and drawing the Master Sword quietly with his left. Ganondorf's head rolled all around as he watched the hook. Link grinned a grin as wicked as Ganondorf's could be when the Evil King wasn't focusing on fishhooks, readied the Master Sword, and stabbed Ganondorf in the stomach.

Ganondorf's mouth and eyes widened in shock and pain and after a moment of muted gurgling and gasping, the King stood straight up, looked off into the distance with glazed eyes, and started with shock. His eyes became pure white for a single second, before the lids closed over them and his lifeless head bowed forward over his chest.

Zelda rode over to Link as the golden barriers shattered, intending to congratulate the hero and admonish him for his recklessness. Both ideas were blown out of her head the moment she saw what Link was doing.

Link was crouching on Ganondorf's face, attempting to pry open Ganondorf's jaw with both hands and fit the coral hook inside it.

"Link, what are you doing?" The Princess said, indignant.

"What does it look like?" Link said, grunting with the effort of opening Ganondorf's dead mouth.

"You can't do that!" Zelda nearly shrieked. "Even if it's Ganondorf, no, _especially_ if it's Ganondorf, you don't play with corpses! You should treat them respectfully!"

"Well, I mean, I wouldn't desecrate his body, but are you really that superstitious to believe that his ghost will haunt me if I don't leave his body to rot in Hyrule Field?" Link ask impatiently, now trying to shove the hook down Ganondorf's throat.

"I am not superstitious!"Zelda said, fists clenched with disbelief and anger.

Link let Ganondorf's mouth snap shut, fishing line now leading to the inside where the hook lay. "See? Now I've caught a Ganondorfish!" Link said happily.

"Link! Stop messing around with that right now!" Zelda shrieked, marching over to Link to pry open Ganondorf's mouth and remove the hook.

"Jeez, you act like he's you're lover," Link grumbled.

This, of course, made Zelda freeze in place and attempt to simultaneously scream with horror and disgust as well as shriek that he was not her lover, he was the goddesses-damned king of evil, and that they should still treat anyone dead with more respect. However, after a moment of several incomprehensible splutterings, a light began shining behind them which distracted both of them.

Turning, they saw the four light spirits on the top of a hill, looking down on something, before turning to Link as if beckoning him. As they faded, the sunset began to create a silhouette of the figure on the horizon, a figure which greatly resembled Midna's helm.

Link gave a start. "Midna...? She's alive? Can't be!"

He was about to run up the hill at full speed when he suddenly wheeled around, grabbed Ganondorf's corpse, and began dragging it up the hill slower than a snail, yelling at Midna to wait if it was her because he had something to show her and he was glad that she was alive and all but he really needed to show her something and he just beat Ganondorf wasn't he so cool, leaving a very distressed Zelda to sigh at Link's hopelessness about five feet away from Link, which was nowhere near as far away as she would have been if he had actually been running up the hill.

Link arrived at the top about half an hour later, wheezing and nearly collapsing under Ganondorf's weight. He froze in shock as a black thing that did not look anything like Midna slowly rose up, about a head taller than him, and turned to him with a small smile on her face.

She was giving him a soft smile, but when she saw the black mass the hero was carrying, her face became the picture of shock, mouth dropping into a not-so-small comical _O._

"What...? Link, what in the Dark World are you doing with Ganondorf's corpse?!" Midna shrieked.

Link unceremoniously dropped Ganondorf's body on the ground and held up the fishing rod, displaying the line that led to its mouth. "You said I would never succeed in catching anything, Midna! Well, I PROVED YOU WRONG! I have caught the one-of-a-kind, elusive, dangerous, _Ganondorfish!_"

Midna stood staring at Link in shock for several minutes, wondering if Link had finally lost it, while Link began praising himself. He continued complimenting his awesomeness unaware that Midna was walking up to him quietly, and before he had time to blink, Link had been roughly swatted in the head.

"What was that for?!" the indignant hero yelled, rubbing his head and glaring up at Midna.

Contrary to a shrieking fit like Zelda, Midna simply gave him and evil grin. "So, Link, you caught a Ganondorfish. Congratulations."

"Thanks..." Link said, uncertain as to whether Midna was truly congratulating him, with that creepy smile on her face.

"I hope you enjoy your dinner," she said, grinning more widely.

"Dinner?" Link said, more uncertainly.

"Oh, yes!" Midna said in a falsely cheerful tone. "Don't you remember that Hena told you that when you fish the last fish of a species, you either must hang it as a trophy in your home or eat it all in one sitting as tribute to it? You can't really hang Ganondorf in your house. Besides being way too massive and the fact that he'll rot in one week, you're his mortal enemy and he's a symbol defying all Hyrule. And since you can't put him up as a trophy..."

Link's face melted in horror as he realized what he was going to have to do, not realizing that since Ganondorf was not a fish he was exempt from this fishing tradition.

Midna struggled to hold in her laughter as she realized Link had bought it, hook, line, and sinker. "Let's get ready to invite everyone to the Great Ganondorf Feast!" Midna said, surrendering to laughter as she stored Ganondorf as Twilight in her hammer space and took the spluttering hero's hand and walked back down the hill towards Zelda.

Phantom Ganon, invisible and weak, glared at an unsuspecting Midna as he comprehended her plans for his body. One day, he would have his revenge...

_(One week later...)_

everyone was gathered in Castle Town Central Square for the Great Ganondorf Feast in honor of Link's triumph over Ganondorf. Midna and Zelda had somehow managed to convince the kingdom that Ganondorf had hidden the fact that he was fish on his father's side, which stopped the protests about cannibalism. With that settled, everyone decided to join in on the festivities. To celebrate, Link was going to eat the dead Gerudo's body, while everyone else was going to come to the feast and eat much more delicious-looking meals than Link as they watched Link eat the now unrecognizable-as-Ganondorf Ganondorfish.

Everyone from Ordon had made the trek, as well as Barnes, Renado, and Luda from Kakariko, the Gorons from Death Mountain, Fyer and Falbi from Lake Hylia and the Zoras from their domain. The Yetis could not stand the extreme heat of the valley, and none of the Oocca could be persuaded to return to Hyrule.

Everyone was seated at a long table with Zelda, Midna, and Link at the head, a huge portion of meat in front of Link, who was grimacing.

Midna poked Link with her fork. "C'mon, start the feast! I'm hungry!"

Link made a choking sound before cutting off a microscopic piece of meat, stabbing it with his fork, and ever so slowly inserting it into his mouth. Everyone else held their breath as they awaited Link's reaction, except for Zelda and Midna, who were not acting like princesses and struggling to contain their laughter.

Link first has a look of revulsion on his face, then disgust, the shock, then a weird sour expression, followed by more revulsion, wonder, shock, and a smile. He swallowed, and then began digging in. "Not too tough! Not too tender! No fat or blood or anything else reminding me of Ganondorf! It's delicious!" He proclaimed.

Zelda's and Midna's jaw dropped comically. The princess had not-very-regal looks of shock on their face while everyone else applauded. After a moment, they got over it, and began to eat their own meals like everyone else as Link dug into his Ganondorf.

But then, all of a sudden...

_**You cannot catch a Ganondorfish! Not only is it an illegal fish, it isn't even a fish to begin with!**_ As the VOICE thundered this, every piece of Ganon-meat at the table vanished, leaving a shocked, forlorn Link.

"Why did you wait a week to speak?!" Midna yelled angrily in every direction, furious that the VOICE dared to stalk her after the adventure was over.

_**Because I'm a sick sadist who enjoys playing with everyone, especially you and Link. You have no idea how funny you two are... but anyway, NO GANONDORFISH! **_And with that, the silent, all-powerful VOICE faded away, leaving a shocked Hyrule Castle Town in its wake.

"I _am_ fish-challenged," Link whispered sadly. "GODDESSES, WHY DO YOU MOCK ME SO?!"

* * *

Ha, ha, I wrote almost that entire thing on a plot bunny-whim again.

Did you like the fish jokes I threw in there, if you saw them? Ah, RHOS is a wonderful thing...

I have written _Gone Fishing 3: Link Final Stand_, to complete the trilogy, as well as _Gone Fishing: The Fishing Failure Chronicles_, which is a series of scenarios involving several of Link's other fishing failures. If you enjoyed those, be on the lookout for _The Fishing Tourney _in the Super Smash Bros section. Will be posted after I complete _Civil War_.

I hope you enjoyed it! --Blue.


End file.
